20 books to read before you… 

There's nothing like a list of books to read or movies to watch. The internet is filled with such trivia. My own favourite list for reading books or watching films is the one before you die. Nothing beats it. In fact, Goodreads has a list of 20 books “you must definitely read” before you die. What a shame if you don’t! But why must you read a particular book or watch a specific movie before you kick the bucket? What's the occasion? I can see we're back to square one.

For the heck of it, I compiled my own list of 20 books that I am going to read before I…no, not that…let’s just say in the next two years. I know I'm being overly optimistic. These are titles of books handed down over the past three decades. Actually, my to-be-read list of some of the great books is much longer and so I have put down only those books I have been wanting to read for a while now. Books that come with high recommendations from all kinds of sources. Books I ought to have read a long time ago. Books I should be rereading now. 

So, what does my Top 20 look like? Take a look below… I might add that I have a vague recollection of having read books 2, 3 & 5 in college though I can't say for sure.

01. Jane Austen — Pride and Prejudice
02. F. Scott Fitzgerald — The Great Gatsby
03. John Steinbeck — The Grapes of Wrath
04. Joseph Conrad — Heart of Darkness
05. George Orwell — 1984
06. J.D. Salinger — The Catcher in the Rye
07. Anthony Burgess — A Clockwork Orange
08. Jack London — The Call of the Wild
09. Fyodor Dostoevsky — The Brothers Karamazov
10. Philip Roth — American Pastoral
11. James Joyce — Dubliners
12. Norman Mailer — The Naked and the Dead
13. Henry Miller — Tropic of Cancer
14. William Faulkner — As I Lay Dying
15. Saul Bellow — The Adventures of Augie March
16. William Styron — Sophie's Choice
17. Leo Tolstoy — War and Peace
18. Oscar Wilde — The Picture of Dorian Gray
19. Gabriel García Márquez — One Hundred Years of Solitude
20. William Golding — Lord of the Flies

Though not a part of the list, I'm going to squeeze in Fountainhead by Ayn Rand as well.

I can hear the authors sniggering—“You didn’t read our books all these years. What makes you think you’re going to read them now? You might as well read them before you…”

VINTAGE PICTURES

Murder on the Orient Express was born here

This is Room 411 in Hotel Pera Palace in Istanbul, Turkey, where Agatha Christie wrote Murder on the Orient Express in which Belgian detective Hercule Poirot investigates the murder of Samuel Ratchett, a passenger on the train.

BOOK REVIEW

The Mighty Marvel Superheroes’ Cookbook (1977) 

Can comic-books be considered as books? Strictly no, unless they're like Stan Lee's The Mighty Marvel Superheroes’ Cookbook. A perfect recipe for Friday's Forgotten Books over at Patti Abbott's blog Pattinase which is being hosted by Todd Mason at his blog Sweet Freedom this week. Check out the two blogs for plenty of FFB action.

Now your kids can cook with the comics! 

As a kid I used to wonder how Superman could drink water, sip wine or eat food when he was made of steel. I don’t think Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster ever explained these life-sustaining aspects of their superhero’s life. As a teenager I wondered how the Man of Steel could make love to Lois Lane. Imagine the bionically-challenged Terminator taking a woman to bed…something like that. And as a grown-up I’m still wondering how he’s doing all of the above.

Come to think of it, in the comics Superman is rarely shown drinking or eating let alone making love though in the movie, Superman-II, he (Christopher Reeve) does sleep with his girlfriend (Margot Kidder) on a crystalline bed created out of kryptonite.

Turns out Superman isn’t the only superhero who drinks and eats and burps (let’s forget the sex for now).

A caboodle of Marvel superheroes not only wolf down large quantities of food, they even cook their own food, or so Stan Lee would like us to believe in The Mighty Marvel Superheroes’ Cookbook which is one of the most imaginative comic-book offshoots I have read—and own. Good thing I do: exaggerated as it sounds, used paperbacks of this book cost $124 (Rs.6,200) on Amazon USA and £109.90 (Rs.8,800) on Amazon UK.

A Fireside book published by Simon and Schuster, New York, in 1977, Superheroes’ Cookbook is a 95-page book of everyday recipes by some of Marvel’s leading heroes. Stan Lee claims it’s “the world’s first (and only) superhero cookbook.” It must be—I haven’t come across cookbooks of its kind over the past thirty-five years. At least, I don’t think DC came out with a rival cookbook by the Justice League of America. 

“Our recipes taste and smell Marvel-ous!” Head Chief Captain America proclaims as he takes you through what appears to be a normal cookbook with recipes for five-course meals, kitchen guide, do’s and don’ts, tips and all, except with one significant difference—you feel as if you’re reading a comic-book while browsing through the delectable recipes, which are accompanied by large colourful illustrations of the superheroes as they show off their favourite dishes.

So, for ‘Heroic Breakfast’ you can try out Captain America’s day starters comprising fruit juice pancakes and milk; cereal with milk; or fruit juice, eggs, bacon, toast and milk; or you can have the Hulk’s fried potatoes with bacon and eggs; or the Thing’s clobbered omelette. I can picture his brick-coloured fist pounding the eggs.

You can skip the breakfast and jump to the Fantastic Four’s superhero sandwiches and soups; the Sub-Mariner’s Submarine; The Human Torch’s Fireball; Spider-Man’s Parmigiani; or the Hulk’s Hulkburger.

 
There are six exclusive Heroic Combos as well, if you like.

If you’re still hungry then you can go for the main meal starting with soups from Dr. Strange’s instant eatery besides Doctor Doom’s Lima Bean Chowder; Thor’s Asgardian Vegetable Soup, Iron Man’s Splendid Split Pea Soup; or Silver Surfer’s Surfboard Sensation.

In the main course you have some mighty recipes consisting of meats, poultry, pasta, and fish. Particularly, Thor’s Cabbage Rolls; Doctor Strange’s Mysterious Stew; Daredevil’s De-Deviled Swiss Steak; Conan’s Kung Fu Chicken; Sub-Mariner’s Magnificent Tuna Bake; the Hulk’s Jumbo Shrimp in a Basket; and Spider-Man’s Seafood Platter.

If these sound a tad boring or if you’re looking for something light on the tummy, then you can have some vegetables and salads in the Hulk’s kitchen where you'll find the Fantastic Four enticing you with Zangy Casseroles, Stuffed Peppers, Spinach and Corn Casserole, and Grilled Tomato with Cheese. 

Pasta can hardly satiate the Hulk’s hunger and so the green goliath often has Spaghetti and Meat Balls in between clobbering General Thaddeus ‘Thunderbolt’ Ross’ armed lilliputs. He has a simple credo: “Hulk hungry—must feed face.” 

The Marvel gang takes the battle of the palate right to the end with recipes for delicious cakes and cookies, pies and tarts, and desserts and beverages.

The Mighty Marvel Superheroes’ Cookbook has great art and lettering by Joe Giella, a renowned American comic book artist who was on the staff of both DC Comics and Marvel. Presented by Stan Lee, the book is the brainchild of Gene Malis and the recipes are by Jody Cameron Malis of Celebrity Kitchen, Inc.

To round up here’s a tip from the superheroes’ kitchen guide: "Be Neat!! Don’t forget to clean up the mess in the kitchen! It’s easier to clean as you go along than to leave it for later."

FILM REVIEW

Wild Hogs (2007)

A Walt Becker comedy for this Tuesday's edition of Overlooked/Forgotten Films and Television at Todd Mason’s blog Sweet Freedom. Don't forget to check out the other fascinating reviews over there.

Dudley Frank (Tim Allen): What'd you do, Woody?
Woody Stevens (John Travolta): I cut the gas lines of their bikes, and then I maybe blew up their bar. 

I am not a particular fan of John Travolta. I enjoyed Saturday Night Fever, Grease and Staying Alive—musical hits that launched his film career and cast the young, lanky, muscular testosterone-driven actor into public limelight. But those were early days and you can't judge Travolta by the way he danced, swore and grinned widely. A lot of people judge Travolta as an actor from his performances in Pulp Fiction and Face/Off, which left me confused by the end. I couldn't figure out who was Travolta and who was Cage.

Over the years John Travolta, who hails from New Jersey, acted in some fine movies which, amongst the ones I have seen, include The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, Wild Hogs, Ladder 49, Swordfish, The Thin Red Line, Primary Colors, Broken Arrow, and Get Shorty. Mum's the word on the Look Who's Talking series—never did like it.

I liked Travolta best in Wild Hogs (2007). He is seriously funny in this riot of a film about four bikers who hit the high road and get into unforeseen trouble with a gang of professional bikers called the Del Fuegos led by the mean, nasty and sneering Ray Liotta.

Woody Stevens (John Travolta) joins his buddies Doug Madsen (Tim Allen), Bobby Davis (Martin Lawrence) and Dudley Frank (William H. Macy) on a bike adventure and end up in a small town whose sheriff, Charley (Stephen Tobolowsky), and his two squabbling partners are too scared to protect from Jack (Ray Liotta) and his gang.

 
Actually, the Del Fuegos roar into town because they’re after the guy who tampered with their bikes, a guy called Woody. His friends, of course, don’t know anything about it. But when they do, they stand by him, like all good friends. What follows is nearly an hour of sheer fun as Woody and his pals indulge in a good deal of fisticuffs, filibuster and slapstick with the bike gang. And what was meant to be a simple bike adventure nearly turns into a messy affair as the four buddies stand their ground, shaky as it seems under their feet, in defence of the small town and its fun-loving folk.

Pick of the film is the bespectacled and bumbling Dudley Frank (William H. Macy) who is in his element as he spars with the dirt bikers on one hand and courts Maggie (Marisa Tomei) on the other, both with hilarious consequences.

Wild Hogs, see it if you haven't.

Sundays without TCM

The days of Turner Classic Movies in India seem to be over. If rumours of the channel’s exit from the country are true then my regular Sunday dose of old Hollywood classics has come to an end. I have been a loyal TCM fan since Turner Entertainment started broadcasting as TNT in India several years ago.

The largely non-commercial movie channel from the Time-Warner stable discontinued its service a few days ago but so far there has been no official word from TCM.

On September 12, Tata Sky, the direct-to-home television service I subscribe to, flashed this terse message: “TCM channel is no longer available on Tata Sky as the telecast of the channel has been discontinued by the broadcaster.”

If TCM has, indeed, pulled out of India then I can only think of two reasons: financial non-viability and lack of popularity. I’m inclined to think it’s the former more than the latter. I’m sure there is no dearth of TCM fans in the subcontinent.

Nearly a fortnight has passed and I’m still feeling the absence of TCM in my living room. As exaggerated as it may seem, the “closure” of the channel is a culture shock. Where do I watch old black-and-white silent-and-sound classic films now? Movies dating back to the 1920s downward and across key genres like romance, musical, war, comedy, western, thriller, and adventure. Buying an occasional DVD is not the same as being able to watching old films round the clock.

MGM is a poor substitute for TCM but then there is almost nothing in common between the two channels. MGM shows some pretty good movies from the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s but it lacks the class and charisma of TCM.

On Sunday, I sat down to watch a film or two but there was nothing appetising on the films menu. My restless thumb zigzagged over the remote, from Star Movies to HBO, Zee Studio to Sony Pix, AXN to MGM, and WB to Movies Now, the eight English movie channels beamed in India. And what did I get? Let me see… 

Among the more notable fare, Star Movies telecast Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smith, Speed, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Salt, and Home Alone—all reruns of reruns.

HBO was equally predictable with Yogi Bear, Thor (for lunch and dinner), Sky Kids: The Island of the Lost Dreams, Troy, and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life.

Zee Studio, a part of the media and entertainment company Zee Group, was none too original either. The channel’s film menu for the day consisted of The Incredible Hulk, the more credible version with Edward Norton as the green goliath, Rambo II & III, Scary Movie 3, and The Sixth Sense.

Sony Pix did better with reruns of Madagascar and Angels and Demons and at least four movies I had never heard of—Underworld: Awakening, Hook, Furry vengeance, and The Eye. I wasn't tempted to watch any.

AXN broadcasts films in between sitcoms and reality shows. Yesterday’s fare included Bicentennial Man and Meet The Fockers. I have seen both and prefer Robin Williams in the former to Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro in the latter or its prequel Meet The Parents. There was no saving grace in the Stiller-De Niro films that I could think of. 

MGM showed a few good films most of which I’d seen before, notably Interiors by Woody Allen, The Offence starring Sean Connery, Under Fire with its power-packed cast of Nick Nolte, Ed Harris, Gene Hackman, and Joanna Cassidy, Curse of the Pink Panther with David Niven as the Pink Panther, The French Lieutenant's Woman which proves why Jeremy Irons and Meryl Streep are such fine actors, and Triumph Of The Spirit with Willem Dafoe in a compelling role set during WWII. 

WB had only one movie that was worth 120 minutes of your time—Million Dollar Baby—and most of us have already seen it.

Movies Now, owned by Bennett, Coleman and Co. Ltd which publishes The Times of India, vied with Star Movies in the telecast of the reruns, such as, Robocop 2, Marmaduke, Spider-Man 3, Conan the Destroyer, Night at the Museum, Journey to the Centre of the Earth, and Jurassic Park III. If I were held by the scruff of the neck and forced to watch any one of these films, I’d pick Conan; he’s a fictional and comic-book character I like, a role that fit the  6' 2" Arnold Schwarzenegger like armour. The bunch of oddball characters, including the 7' 1" Bombaata (the late Wilt Chamberlain) and the 5' 10½" Zula (Grace Jones), made this film an enjoyable fare. A tall film by any measure.

Margaret Sullavan and James Stewart in The Shopworn Angel

For some reason TCM India continues to show its schedule on its website. Here’s what I might have watched on Sunday had the channel still been around…

1. Rose Marie, 1954: Howard Keel and Ann Blyth
2. Random Harvest, 1942: Ronald Colman and Greer Garson
3. Grand Hotel, 1932: John Barrymore and Greta Garbo
4. Mrs. Parkington, 1944: Walter Pidgeon and Greer Garson
5. The Clock, 1945: Robert Walker and Judy Garland
6. The Shopworn Angel, 1938: James Stewart and Margaret Sullavan
7. The Moon Is Blue, 1953: William Holden and Maggie McNamara
8. A Farewell To Arms, 1932: Gary Cooper and Helen Hayes

Now compare these films with the ones broadcast by the eight English movie channels and you’ll know why my Sundays are never going to be the same again. I’m hoping Turner Classic Movies does a Turneround, hopefully, by this Sunday.

Opening lines

“My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel is the best and simplest way.”
— Ernest Hemingway

The opening lines of a book, a mystery, thriller, humour, sf or horror in particular, often tells you whether you are going to like it or not. Now I don’t judge the merit of a novel based on how it begins. It does, however, give me a feel for the book, that, maybe, I can sit back and look forward to a pleasurable read.

I have paid scarce attention to the opening lines in the books I read in the past few years but a casual glance through a pile of secondhand mystery paperbacks I bought recently got me thinking about this challenging aspect of a writer’s narrative.

Flipping through You Live Once by John D. MacDonald, I came across this plain opening:

“I have never awakened easily. I have always had a sneaking envy for those people who seem to be able to bound out of bed, functioning perfectly. I have to use two alarm clocks on work mornings.” 

You don’t know where MacDonald is taking you and vague as the opening lines may seem you want to go with him and listen to his story.

If those lines caught my eye, so did the beginning to Elmore Leonard’s Unknown Man No.89.

A friend of Ryan’s said to him one time, ‘Yeah, but at least you don’t take any shit from anybody.’ 

Ryan said to his friend, ‘I don’t know, the way things’ve been going, maybe it’s about time I started taking some.’ 

Then there is Ed McBain who tells it like it is in Jigsaw, which I read last year:

Detective Arthur Brown did not like being called black. 

This might have had something to do with his name, which was Brown. Or his colour, which was also brown. 

How easy—or difficult—is it to write the opening lines in this manner? All the openings are written in a simple, transparent, and original style. A style that entices you to pick up your pen and start writing similarly, only it doesn’t happen, not to everyone at least.

I tried my hand at it and came up with this feeble opening...

Allergic Pharyngitis leaned over the shoulder of a fellow intern and peered into the bloody hole and at the tangled mass of intestines.

“Do you think he was shot?” she asked, without looking up. 

“No, Dr. Pharyngitis, he was carved with a pen knife,” Chief Surgeon Arterio Sclerosis said sarcastically.

Pharyngitis cleared her throat…

 So, what is it going to be—mystery or humour? I don’t have a clue.

FILM REVIEW

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) and The Birdcage (1996)

A couple of comedies for this Tuesday's edition of Overlooked/Forgotten Films and Television at Todd Mason’s blog Sweet Freedom. Don't forget to check out the other fascinating reviews over there.

Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams): Could you make me a woman?
Frank (Harvey Fierstein): Honey, I'm so happy!
Daniel: I knew you'd understand.

What is it about some films that make you want to see them again and again (assuming you do watch a film more than once)? 

What usually inspires me to watch a film twice, maybe more than twice, is the entertainment value, the family quotient, good humour, great music, familiar cast, sound performance, a terrific script…you can toss and turn the order if you like. Mrs. Doubtfire scores on all seven fronts.

Now Robin Williams is a damned good actor and yet I don’t like him in some of his films because he clearly overdoes the acting bit. He’s loud and all over the place. What do you expect? He’s a comedian! Yes, I know. Maybe that’s why I like him more in Patch Adams, Dead Poets Society, Good Will Hunting, The Final Cut, Jack…and even Bicentennial Man. I mean we’re not talking Jumanji here, are we? (That one’s for kids…I saw it seven times.)

Whatever…I prefer Robin Williams the actor to Robin Williams the comedian, though I’m willing to make an exception or two—the exceptions being Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) and The Birdcage (1996).

Assuming you haven’t seen the second, Mike Nichols, who made The Graduate (1967) and Charlie Wilson’s War (2007), has done the world of film entertainment and film goers a big favour by bringing Robin Williams, a fun-loving gay cabaret owner, and Gene Hackman, a senator with serious political aspirations, together, in a film that will have you holding your sides. The ebullient Williams and the deadpan Hackman are a rare treat as is the incorrigible Nathan Lane who makes every drag queen proud with his…her….his…well-disguised performance. Actors Dianne Wiest, Dan Futterman, Calista Flockhart and Christine Baranski add value to this delightful comedy for the entire family. 

We owe Mike Nichols for making The Birdcage, one of the funniest movies of the 1990s. There, I have put my head on the block.

In Mrs. Doubtfire, Robin Williams gives “versatility” a new meaning as the old Chris Columbus hand effortlessly transforms from Daniel Hillard, the just-divorced doting father of three, to Mrs. Doubtfire, the perfect housekeeper to “her” kids—with hilarious consequences. Now you don’t need visitation rights to be with your own kids, do you? All you need is acting skill, a bloody good disguise, a little sophistication, and some funny lines.

Did you know her first name is Euphegenia? Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire…I didn’t catch that even on the eleventh run.

Daniel’s wife Miranda (Sally Field), who struggles to look and sound angry at her out-of-work husband, has a fling with the dashing Stu Denmeyer (Pierce Brosnan) in a passable attempt to get on with her life. Of Brosnan it must be said, here is a gent who can carry humour on his broad shoulders. In the end Daniel wins back his kids, shows Stu the door (in the middle of a family dinner in a restaurant) and proves he is not the loser Miranda thinks he is.

A Robin Williams film can only have a good ending and Mrs. Doubtfire nearly does, albeit with a liberal dose of advice for families that break up. As Mrs. Doubtfire says, “If there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever.”

Highly recommended, if you’ve overlooked or forgotten the film, though I doubt you have. 

While we are on about Mrs. Doubtfire, did you know Bollywood, the land of remakes, came out with a successful Hindi version of the film called Chachi 420 (Aunty 420 or The Trickster Aunt)? Seasoned actor-director Kamal Hassan directed himself in this 1997 film.

Spot the difference: Mrs. Doubtfire and Laxmi Godbole