Stephen Leacock on good humour

© en.wikipedia.org

"To me it has always seemed that the very essence of good humour is that it must be without harm and without malice. I admit that there is in all of us a certain vein of the old original demoniacal humour or joy in the misfortune of another which sticks to us like our original sin. It ought not to be funny to see a man, especially a fat and pompous man, slip suddenly on a banana skin. But it is. When a skater on a pond who is describing graceful circles, and showing off before the crowd, breaks through the ice and gets a ducking, everybody shouts with joy. To the original savage, the cream of the joke in such cases was found if the man who slipped broke his neck, or the man who went through the ice never came up again. I can imagine a group of prehistoric men standing round the ice-hole where he had disappeared and laughing till their sides split. If there had been such a thing as a prehistoric newspaper, the affair would have headed up: Amusing Incident. Unknown Gentleman Breaks Through Ice and is Drowned."

Stamp of a Writer: Virginia Woolf

"Language is wine upon the lips."

"Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind."

"Writing is like sex. First you do it for love, then you do it for your friends, and then you do it for money."

"Books are the mirrors of the soul."

"I meant to write about death, only life came breaking in as usual."

"Literature is strewn with the wreckage of those who have minded beyond reason the opinion of others."

"A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction."

"Do we write better? Do we read better? We read and wrote 400 years ago when we were un-lectured, un-criticized, un-taught."

"Words do not live in dictionaries, they live in the mind. And how do they live in the mind? Variously and strangely, much as human beings live, ranging hither and dither falling in love, meeting together. It's true they are much less bound by ceremony, convention, than we are. Royal words meet with common words. English words marry French words, German words, Indian words..."

"Fiction must stick to facts, and the truer the facts the better the fiction—so we are told."

Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh in 
No Country for Old Men

Photos: © Miramax Films & Paramount Vantage

Only three words describe Javier Bardem's character in No Country for Old Men—dead man walking. Look at that face—there's nothing there. It's almost as if the blood has drained out of Anton Chigurh who is on a relentless quest to hunt down opportunist welder and hunter Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) for a $2 million booty. The film, directed by Ethan and Joel Coen in 2007, takes the audience through nail-biting suspense marked by cold-blooded murders. Don't forget to call when the psychopathic killer flips a coin: it might be your only chance of survival. Then again, maybe not...

No surprises but Javier Bardem walks away with the honours from seasoned actors like Brolin as well as Tommy Lee Jones (Sheriff Ed Tom Bell) and Woody Harrelson (Carson Wells). Yes, they were in it too.

In Eat, Pray, Love (2010), Javier Bardem plays Felipe, the quiet romantic out to woo Elizabeth Gilbert (Julia Roberts) who is searching for love and light in her life. She finds it in Felipe who mouths something like "Listen, balance, my darling, is not letting anybody love you less than you love 
yourself." Yikes!

Give me Anton Chigurh any day.


Guess who's the previous Wily Villain?

A way with words

As a rule I delete email forwards without opening and reading them, unless they are from someone I know well enough to send me only the good stuff, nothing dark and depressing and morbid. Like this one about anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals. But, like most email forwards, this one’s probably all over the internet too. I enjoyed it because it’s one more example why English is a funny language and because it gets funnier towards the end. So here goes…

We are all familiar with

A Herd of Cows

A Flock of Chicken

A School of Fish

A Gaggle of Geese

However, less widely known is:

A Pride of Lions

A Murder of Crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens)

An Exaltation of Doves (presumably because they look so wise)

A Parliament of Owls

Now consider a group of baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive, and least intelligent of all primates.

So what do you think is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not… a Congress of Baboons!

I guess that pretty much explains who we elect to most parliaments and congresses of the world. 

#1: Bahadur

© Indrajal Comics

FILM REVIEW

Lady and the Tramp

© Walt Disney Pictures

I recently watched Lady and the Tramp (1955) again and loved it as much as I did the first time I saw it in a theatre in the late 1970s. It's one of four animated films from the Walt Disney stable I never tire of watching. The other three are The Jungle Book (1967), Beauty and the Beast (1991), and The Lion King (1994). Each of these films tells a delightful story that you wish you were a part of. You learn as you enjoy. These animated films rest in my CD case.

Lady and the Tramp has some memorable dialogues. Here it is, with a little help from IMDB.

Tramp (Larry Roberts): Not to change the subject, but, um...ever chased chickens?
Lady (Barbara Luddy): I should say not!
Tramp: Oh-ho, then you've never lived!
Lady: But we shouldn't.
Tramp: I know. That's what makes it fun. Aw, come on, kid. Start building some memories.

Lady: What's a... baby?
Jock (Bill Thompson): Well, they... they resemble humans.
Trusty (Bill Baucom): But I'd say a mite smaller.
Jock: Aye, and they walk on all fours.
Trusty: And if I remember correctly... they beller a lot.
Jock: Aye, and they're very expensive. You'll no be permitted to play wi' it.
Trusty: But they're mighty sweet.
Jock: And very very soft.
Tramp: Just a cute little bundle... of trouble!

Tramp: Just a cute little bundle... of trouble. Yeah, they scratch, pinch, pull ears... Aw, but shucks, any dog can take that. It's what they do to your happy home. Move it over, will ya, friend? Homewreckers, that's what they are!
Jock: Look here, laddie! Who are you to barge in?
Tramp: The voice of experience, buster. Just wait 'til Junior gets here. You feel the urge for a nice, comfortable scratch, and... "Put that dog out! He'll get fleas all over the baby!" You start barking at some strange mutt...
Tramp: "Stop that racket, you'll wake the baby!" And then... then they hit you on the room and board department. Oh, remember those nice, juicy cuts of beef? Forget 'em. Leftover baby food. And that nice, warm bed by the fire? A leaky dog house.
Lady: Oh, dear!

Lady: ...But when she put that horrible muzzle on me...
Tramp: Say no more, I get the whole picture. Aunts, cats, muzzles... Well, that what comes of tying yourself down to one family.
Lady: Haven't you a family?
Tramp: One for every day of the week. The point is, none of them have me.


Don't forget to check out Tuesday's Overlooked/Forgotten films at Todd Mason's blog.

Wilbur Smith pokes fun at literary prize juries

© www.wilbursmithbooks.com

Bestselling author Wilbur Smith is currently in India to promote his 33rd novel Those in Peril. I read just one of his fat books, Rage, a long time ago. In an interview to The Crest Edition of The Times of India, the Africa-born novelist had an interesting take on book awards and prize juries. To a question whether he kept up with book lists and book awards, Smith replied, tongue in cheek, "Indeed, I do. For instance, I look upon the Booker Prize shortlist as a red alert warning of books to be avoided at all costs." And, did he think it fair that literary prize juries take a rather condescending view of pulp fiction? "Not at all. Literary prize juries are exclusive little clubs of non-selling writers awarding each other consolation prizes. I think it is rather sweet and funny."

You can read the full interview at The Crest Edition.